JUST BRENDA: My colleague sends me raunchy videos

Hi Brenda,

My colleague at work keeps sending me raunchy videos on Facebook. The first time he sent one, I politely replied with a smiley face, even though I thought the video was inappropriate. I thought it was a one-off thing, only to realise that he likes sending such videos to people. He even follows up to make sure you received it if you don’t acknowledge that you have. I heard from a male colleague that even he gets embarrassed to open such videos in public. I feel trapped in the receiving end of these videos (some of which are even too embarrassing to describe here) so how do I tell him to stop yet I have never done so? Or do I just block him on Facebook.

You say you have never told him to stop. Therein lies your big answer. You need to learn to speak up for yourself or you will continue suffering in silence.

What is it exactly that you are afraid will happen if you approach him politely and firmly and ask him to stop sending you the raunchy videos?

“Hey Mr X, I have noticed that you really like sending me these videos….I would prefer that you don’t. I don’t find them entertaining. Please stop sending me the videos,” you could say. Customise this template to suit your own style of communication and good luck with that!

One more thing: What exactly will blocking him without telling him why achieve? Remember, this is someone you spend a minimum of eight hours in a day with, so you need to get along at the very least and the first step is clear communication. Hiding behind a block button will not solve anything.

Do you have a problem for Brenda? E-mail:

It’s about my butt. It’s too flat and growing up, it caused me major self-esteem issues.

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