JUST BRENDA: Why does my girlfriend want to be left alone?

Hi, I am Allan. I’m 23 years old and just completed my fourth year in a degree programme. I have a problem with my girlfriend who I have been dating for five months now.  She is saying she wants to be alone claiming that she is too possessive and too concerned. Should that be the reason to quit? We have been talking like daily then one morning she said she is not interested she wants to be alone. She just joined campus so is there a possibility of peer influence? Please help, I love this lady I don’t know what I have done wrong. Thanks.


Dear Allan,

It looks like you have a runner on your hands. It can be difficult to date someone who is in a completely different place from you – you have just finished something she is just starting, so that is a bit tricky. She claims you are too possessive or you are? If she is saying she is too possessive, she’s just looking for an excuse to leave. Campus is a brand new experience, and no one particularly wants to be saddled with commitment upon entry. If she is saying you are too possessive, she’s just looking for an excuse to leave. If you’ve been together and communicating daily for 5 months, isn’t this how the relationship was already forged? There’s nothing that’s changed about you – which means there must be something that’s changed about her. Cut your losses, because you can’t force someone who doesn’t want to be with you to be with you.

Do you have a problem to share with Brenda? E-mail:

Be fair, and be firm, and, because they are your parents, be gentle.

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