JUST BRENDA: How do I make her stop talking to her exes?

Hi Brenda,

My girlfriend has refused to let go her exes. She says she is loyal to all her exes and they are her best friends. She talks with them through the phone even in my presence even in late hours of the night for hours on end. When I question her, she turns wild and even refuses to talk to me for days. Moreover, she is constantly on WhatsApp and messaging people even when I am asleep at night. 

What should I do? Please help.

What you should do is have an honest conversation with your girlfriend. Find out from her why is important that she keeps in touch with her exes. It could be harmless but if the constant contact is wreaking havoc in your relationship, the two of you need to redefine your relationship boundaries.

Social media can make or break a relationship. Does she know that her social media use upsets you? If she doesn’t, talk to her about it. I am not suggesting that you ban her from using all social media, no. Agree to have times during the day or night when both of you consciously log off social media so that you can spend time with each other.

I am worried because I do not know where this ‘relationship’ is headed.

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